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More Great Writing From Year 3 at Burdett-Coutts Primary School

January 18, 2014

Here are some stories from the students in 3H who were part of the six week Wriggle Room Writing workshop which you can read about in the previous post.

Mohammed K

One early day, Mr Tazz remembered it was December and he got to practice martial arts.

The place is set in an underwater palace, which has over 5000 people and they are all 
special.

Mr Tazz wore a blue swimsuit with yellow shoulder pads and yellow stripes on his legs. 
In the middle there is a circle and it says ‘Mr T’. 
He likes riding his submarine and his jet-ski, also sharks and whales. Mr Tazz is 32 
and he practices martial arts. He lives in a special laboratory. 
Mr Tazz is mature, courageous and kind. Mr Tazz usually feels awesome.
Moments later, Mr Tazz was inventing a new vehicle called the jet bike and suddenly 
his Tazz phone was tingling so he answered it…….it was the Queen!
“Hello Mr Tazz, is that you? Can you help because the menacing Dr Octo has my crown! 
Bye”, said the Queen in a cranky voice.
So he swiftly ran out the palace but there was an army of brain washed people. He flew 
over them, he went even faster!
Finally he found Dr Octo, “You’re too late!” mentioned Dr Octo.
“How do you know?” asked Mr Tazz.
“Because I have an army” declared Dr Octo.
“Uh-oh” said Mr Tazz in a slow voice.
“ No one fear, Dr Finn is here!” Dr Finn said in a clear voice.
He pushed the octopus away. Mr Tazz ran and threw his Tazzarang and it snatched and 
located the Queen and gave it back.
“Oh how could I repay you?” cried the Queen.
“Well you can pay us billion sheus” suggested Dr Finn.
“If you say so” stammered the Queen.
“Yes!” Shouted  Mr  Tazz.
So everyone lived happily ever after but Dr Octo felt the opposite!

Image

Christian

It was early on a Saturday morning when Shy was feeling very cool, calm and fine.
 Shy was a kind, helpful person. He wore dark, shiny boots with a brown, yellow 
jacket.
Shy lived in a gloomy ship wreck.
Shy was working on his inventions that he wanted to use to defeat the mighty 
Claw Trox! 
Shy needed to watch out because Claw Trox had a plan too!
While Shy was working on his inventions there was a ring on his old phone. It was 
the Queen, she cried,  “oh Shy! Help! Someone has stolen the fish so that they can 
be their slaves!”  Screamed the Queen loudly.
“ I am on my way!”
When Shy ran out of his door he saw fish angrily charging at him. Shy got out of 
it because he had a rope and he grabbed the fish, Shy locked the fish in his house!
After that Shy was feeling anxious because he had never faced a villain that was 
part fish, part whale and part shark!
Then Shy swam so far and found Claw Trox’s lair. As soon as Shy swam into the cave 
he heard Claw Trox’s evil laugh echoing around him! Shy marched into the deep, dark 
and gloomy cave. 
A few seconds later Shy stepped on a stick and Claw Trox turned around and he said, 
“ Hello Shy, do you think you can beat me?”
When Claw Trox and Shy stood face to face, Shy had a rope and he tied it around 
Claw Trox and freed the fish. 
Then, so Claw Trox would not come back, he blew him out of a cannon!

Image

Celeste

Early one day, Star was in her shipwreck drinking juicy seaweed stew with the Queen. 
Star was wearing a blue, scaley skirt with a pink, soft flower in her hair. Her 
favourite thing to do was swimming around in circles, swishing her arms in the water. 
Her favourite thing to eat was fried fish with a salt drink and her best friend 
loved that too. Star liked painting her submarine the colour yellow and blue and 
it went really fast! The sea was very cold and dark so star sometimes swam around 
a lot so she could get warm.
After that the Queen went back to her palace, her palace where she keeps her bottles 
of potions. The Queen saw one of them was gone so she called Star on her underwater 
phone. She panicly screamed, “come right here! Spikey has stolen one of my potions!”
“I’ll come right away!” exclaimed Star. Star raced to the Queens castle where 
she explained all about it. Then, Star went into Spikey’s lair but she could not 
get in because there were sea urchins everywhere around the house.
“What shall I do?” complained Star to herself. “Oh! I know! I can use my underwater 
gloves that I use when I have to touch sea urchins!” yelled Star. Then she zoomed 
back to her shipwreck and grabbed them and it worked! She spent about an hour to 
take all the sea urchins off.
Star felt really cross with Spikey, nobody liked her at all so hardly anyone spoke 
to her. At last Star finished and got into Spikey’s lair and she poured the potion 
into Spikey’s mouth so she could get sick and not the Queen.
In the morning, Spikey did not feel well so she lay in bed all day! At the end of 
the day she knew what was wrong. Star had pured the potion in her mouth and soon 
after, about a month, she could not talk for the rest of her life! The people in 
the village were very happy.
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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 20, 2014 3:41 pm

    I enjoyed these stories. They had pace, lots of excitement and plenty of visual stimulus. My general impression is of a lot of colour and drama. The queen definitely knows who to turn to in a crisis!

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