More Great Writing From Year 3 at Burdett-Coutts Primary School
January 18, 2014
Here are some stories from the students in 3H who were part of the six week Wriggle Room Writing workshop which you can read about in the previous post.
Mohammed K
One early day, Mr Tazz remembered it was December and he got to practice martial arts. The place is set in an underwater palace, which has over 5000 people and they are all special. Mr Tazz wore a blue swimsuit with yellow shoulder pads and yellow stripes on his legs. In the middle there is a circle and it says ‘Mr T’. He likes riding his submarine and his jet-ski, also sharks and whales. Mr Tazz is 32 and he practices martial arts. He lives in a special laboratory. Mr Tazz is mature, courageous and kind. Mr Tazz usually feels awesome. Moments later, Mr Tazz was inventing a new vehicle called the jet bike and suddenly his Tazz phone was tingling so he answered it…….it was the Queen! “Hello Mr Tazz, is that you? Can you help because the menacing Dr Octo has my crown! Bye”, said the Queen in a cranky voice. So he swiftly ran out the palace but there was an army of brain washed people. He flew over them, he went even faster! Finally he found Dr Octo, “You’re too late!” mentioned Dr Octo. “How do you know?” asked Mr Tazz. “Because I have an army” declared Dr Octo. “Uh-oh” said Mr Tazz in a slow voice. “ No one fear, Dr Finn is here!” Dr Finn said in a clear voice. He pushed the octopus away. Mr Tazz ran and threw his Tazzarang and it snatched and located the Queen and gave it back. “Oh how could I repay you?” cried the Queen. “Well you can pay us billion sheus” suggested Dr Finn. “If you say so” stammered the Queen. “Yes!” Shouted Mr Tazz. So everyone lived happily ever after but Dr Octo felt the opposite!
Christian
It was early on a Saturday morning when Shy was feeling very cool, calm and fine. Shy was a kind, helpful person. He wore dark, shiny boots with a brown, yellow jacket. Shy lived in a gloomy ship wreck. Shy was working on his inventions that he wanted to use to defeat the mighty Claw Trox! Shy needed to watch out because Claw Trox had a plan too! While Shy was working on his inventions there was a ring on his old phone. It was the Queen, she cried, “oh Shy! Help! Someone has stolen the fish so that they can be their slaves!” Screamed the Queen loudly. “ I am on my way!” When Shy ran out of his door he saw fish angrily charging at him. Shy got out of it because he had a rope and he grabbed the fish, Shy locked the fish in his house! After that Shy was feeling anxious because he had never faced a villain that was part fish, part whale and part shark! Then Shy swam so far and found Claw Trox’s lair. As soon as Shy swam into the cave he heard Claw Trox’s evil laugh echoing around him! Shy marched into the deep, dark and gloomy cave. A few seconds later Shy stepped on a stick and Claw Trox turned around and he said, “ Hello Shy, do you think you can beat me?” When Claw Trox and Shy stood face to face, Shy had a rope and he tied it around Claw Trox and freed the fish. Then, so Claw Trox would not come back, he blew him out of a cannon!
Celeste
Early one day, Star was in her shipwreck drinking juicy seaweed stew with the Queen. Star was wearing a blue, scaley skirt with a pink, soft flower in her hair. Her favourite thing to do was swimming around in circles, swishing her arms in the water. Her favourite thing to eat was fried fish with a salt drink and her best friend loved that too. Star liked painting her submarine the colour yellow and blue and it went really fast! The sea was very cold and dark so star sometimes swam around a lot so she could get warm. After that the Queen went back to her palace, her palace where she keeps her bottles of potions. The Queen saw one of them was gone so she called Star on her underwater phone. She panicly screamed, “come right here! Spikey has stolen one of my potions!” “I’ll come right away!” exclaimed Star. Star raced to the Queens castle where she explained all about it. Then, Star went into Spikey’s lair but she could not get in because there were sea urchins everywhere around the house. “What shall I do?” complained Star to herself. “Oh! I know! I can use my underwater gloves that I use when I have to touch sea urchins!” yelled Star. Then she zoomed back to her shipwreck and grabbed them and it worked! She spent about an hour to take all the sea urchins off. Star felt really cross with Spikey, nobody liked her at all so hardly anyone spoke to her. At last Star finished and got into Spikey’s lair and she poured the potion into Spikey’s mouth so she could get sick and not the Queen. In the morning, Spikey did not feel well so she lay in bed all day! At the end of the day she knew what was wrong. Star had pured the potion in her mouth and soon after, about a month, she could not talk for the rest of her life! The people in the village were very happy.
One Comment
leave one →
I enjoyed these stories. They had pace, lots of excitement and plenty of visual stimulus. My general impression is of a lot of colour and drama. The queen definitely knows who to turn to in a crisis!