Some Great Wriggle Room Writing from Burdett-Coutts Primary School
June 24, 2013
Here are some examples of the wonderful writing that was produced by children at Burdett-Coutts Primary School for the final day of our six week writing sessions with the children of Year 3. We all listened to work being read aloud and the children commented and gave feedback after each reading. The comments and feedback were thoughtful and interesting.
The Song of Siger – by Sammi in 3G
Orange as the sun,
Fierce as a lion,
Huge as a house,
My orange fluffy fur is soft like a bear,
I run like a fast cheetah,
I purr like a fluffy cat,
I creep like a quiet mouse
My black stripes are as black as the night sky
An Adventure Story - By Ahkim in 3G
One day I found a door, doors can some in all shapes and sizes but the door
I found was extremely small!
When I came down the old wooden stairs I found a
tiny door. I was feeling terrified in case something bad came out of the door.
Quietly, I opened the door and the floor was made out of clouds. In front
of me was a green and black portal. I went into the portal and a jam army
greeted me to defeat the ice monster. When we were fighting the ice monster
it threw ice blades at us. We were all very injured. Then I made a weapon
called the jam canon and we fired jam at the ice monster. The ice monster
died and the jam army said, “Thank you so much you saved our people”.
I replied, “That’s ok” and I went back through the portal, opened the
door and went back home.
A Superhero Story – by Amaju in 3G
Sasha Strickers (Alice) was a loud girl and she seemed quite joyful
but her parents were always busy and she was always upset. Sasha Strickers
had long, curly brown hair and pretty big, brown eyes. She was a kind,
beautiful girl who always wanted to give charity to poor people. During the
night she used this kindness to save the earth because Sasha Strickers was
really a superhero!
One dark, spooky night when there was a hurricane coming Sasha Strickers
was in her bedroom wondering what adventure she would be be part of tonight.
Suddenly, she heard somebody cry “Help somebody save us!” so she
decided to investigate…
An Adventure Story – by Bella in 3G
When I walked down the stairs I saw a mysterious little door. I whispered
to myself, “What is that door doing there?” Slowly, I walked towards the
door thinking it was going to jump right at me but I had to face my fears
and open that door so I did!
Worryingly, I opened the door but nothing happened. All I saw was a huge
winter wonderland and a fun fair. There was an old, dusty ride with a
beautiful fountain.
It was when I walked a bit further that I saw a huge ice rink and a
sign on the floor which I picked up. It said “Don’t go on it because it
has been cursed.” I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a curse
so I picked up my ice skates, put them on and started to skate…
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I am intrigued by your reviews of these books Elizabeth. I feel I must read ‘After’. I have always found characters that can find the strength in themselves to be kind when faced with adversity very inspiring.