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Am I a bad writer?

December 15, 2010

Just how bad a writer am I? Asks Vernon Lott to America's top authors in Bad Writing The Movie

From the dark awakening
Cold thoughts of fear hold
Into my cap fall
Tortuous glimpses of dawn
And her many warm epiphanies.

I should make it very clear that I didn’t write this.  It is a ‘verse’ from the poetry of Vernon Lott, a writer on a journey to discover why he is not succeeding; a question at the top of my mind following the recent rejection of my manuscript.

Interviewing some of America’s most successful contemporary authors from David Sedaris to Margaret Atwood,  Vernon records this journey in the moviementary Bad Writing The Movie.  Here they either laugh, scoff, patronise, warmly guide and advise but fundamentally they all agree that his work is terrible.

Not realising that I am suffering the intellectual bruises of another rejection, a lovely friend of mine unwittingly sent me the trailer as you can watch here.  One could argue his timing is deplorable but actually I should thank him because he has forced me on a journey myself.

Once past the deep depression that my work is as bad as Vernon’s, past the cringe factor of hearing generally indulgent writing, I was then galled to my guts with the confronting insight from Margaret Atwood who says; ‘There is no rule that says your work steadily gets better.’

Damn.  Double Damn. Am I a bad writer? And will I be a bad writer until the end of time?

When I ask myself these questions, as have the members of his facebook group, Vernon’s line above strikes a frighteningly resonant chord.  And in that case, by rights perhaps his work is not that bad and maybe, just maybe George Saunders, Margaret Atwood, Miles Corwin, Nick Flynn, Aimee Bender, D.A. Powell, Lee Gutkind, Steve Almond and the agent I am trying to be signed with are also wrong?

Somehow I doubt it, but I will keep writing, badly, until…

Lorna Hoey: Those awkward questions…

December 13, 2010

With the party invitation comes the situation I most dread. It’s not about the dress, the shoes or the hair. It’s not about how to get there or who’ll be there. It’s worse than all of these things.

It happens when I’m standing at the canapés, or the buffet, or the drinks table or (more than likely) in the kitchen, and somebody sidles up to me and starts one of those conversations which inevitably culminate in: ‘So now that you’re retired, how are you filling your days?’

And here we go. Do I say vaguely, oh, never been busier, can’t think how I found the time to go to work, all that stuff? Or do I come clean? Usually it’s easier to take the first option, but sometimes, if I’m feeling brave – maybe after a prolonged visit to the drinks table – I will say that I am a writer. And why not? It’s what I do, and I do it every day.

But then comes the inevitable response: Really? What have you written? Should I have heard of you? And at this point I have to admit that as I’m not yet a published writer, then it’s unlikely that anyone has heard of me.

Ah, comments my smiling assailant, already veering off to more interesting pastures, it’s just a hobby then. I feel stung, cheapened. It is my dearest wish to be a published author and I work towards that each day. I feel insulted. But should I? Can I really call myself a writer?

Recently, having repeated this scenario – probably once too often – to a friend, I was given a little book entitled You know you’re a writer when…which contains a number of statements apparently designed to test your commitment to the scribing world. Here are a few examples:

You eat dinner with your plate on your knee because your manuscript is laid out on the table.

In bed at night, it’s not your own problems that keep you awake, but those of your characters.

You assess every person you meet as either poor or good character material.

You can work alone in a room for a year.

As you back the car into the lamppost, all you can think about is how to describe the thud of metal on metal.

Every surface in your house has morphed into a desk

Despite anxiety, humiliation and frustration, you can’t stop writing because you are doing exactly what you should be doing.

And it’s that last statement that holds the key. I can’t stop writing and if that makes writing my hobby, so be it. One day somebody will take a chance on my work and I’ll be a real, published author.

But for now I’m happy – no, proud – to call myself a writer. I just need the courage to say so.

Maybe another visit to the drinks table?

Bookstand

December 3, 2010

 
 

 

Lynda Waterhouse mans the stand

Islington Writers for Children (IWFC) were out in force yesterday evening (well, three of us were), when Marion, Lynda and I braved the severe weather conditions to advance the cause of children’s literacy, promote the blog and sell our books.

 

We set up shop at the annual Christmas craft fair at St John’s Highbury Vale School, where, despite the snow, there was a good turnout at, what proved to be, a thoroughly enjoyable event – something definitely worth doing again.

JOHN O’LEARY

Miriam Halahmy : Ready to start writing?

November 28, 2010

Thinking about my novel on the beach.

In the Guardian this weekend, Kathryn Schultz, writer of the Guardian First Book Award for Being Wrong, Adventures in the Margin of Error, said, “One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was that I’d be ready to start writing( my novel) when I could outline it on a Post-It note.”

This was not the way I started to write the three novels in my Hayling Cycle (first title, HIDDEN ,Meadowside March 2011.) I started with a thought. I was walking on the beach where my parents used to live on Hayling Island. I had been doing a lot of work with refugees and asylum seekers and had published both fiction and non-fiction on the subject. A thought came into my head. What if a couple of teenagers were walking a dog here and they found an illegal immigrant washed up on the beach?

Hayling beach.

That was enough to get me started on my first Y.A. novel. I hadn’t even heard the term Y.A. at that time. But gradually I met other Y.A. writers, some well known – Meg Rossoff, David Almond – and many wannabees, like myself. My novel began to take shape and as I was writing a new idea began to form and then a third. But I certainly didn’t have my novel crystallised into the one-line pitch sentence so beloved of agents and editors : Example – Artemis Fowl, Diehard with fairies. Brilliant.

Then I met the writer, Julia Golding and attended a talk by her. I had already complete HIDDEN and was looking for an agent. I had begun the second book, ILLEGAL, and was planning the third, STUFFED. Julia told us that we absolutely must be able to describe out novels in one sentence. Impossible, I thought. You have ten minutes, she told us and then we’ll share. Crikey! Where to start?

But it was one of the best writing exercises I ever did. Here is my one line pitch for HIDDEN : Two teenagers find an illegal immigrant washed up on a beach and hide him to save him from being deported.

This may not be the place I want to start writing my novels but it is certainly the place I want to arrive at and the sooner the better. When are you ready to start writing?

It’s not big and it’s not clever

November 25, 2010

By Alison Allen-Gray

In Monday’s Guardian, Benedicte Page reported on library cuts and job losses. The Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals (CILIP) fears that around 6,000 members could lose their jobs over the next four years. Councils may look to ‘volunteers’ to step into the breach. Not so long ago there was the jolly little suggestion that ‘libraries’ could be set up in pubs or churches (never mind those members of our society who prefer not to set foot in either). School libraries too are under enormous pressure and some heads are actually closing them. We live in dangerous times.

Perplexing times, also. You could grab any politician by the scruff, plonk him or her in front of a camera and ask for thoughts on literacy. He or she would be sure to oblige with impassioned proclamations on education. But where’s the political protection for the professionally-staffed libraries that underpin learning? It was The Public Libraries Act of 1850 that gave us the UK library system as we know it today. Where’s the optimism, self-belief, joy in discovery and pure altruism that inspired this? We need these things more than ever in straightened times and we won’t get them back by hacking away at the roots of learning.

Yes, we have E-readers, we have the Internet; some argue that because of the advance of new technologies we no longer need libraries. It shouldn’t need saying that some people can’t afford E-readers and computers or that some children grow up in homes with no book in sight. Libraries are the only places for these things to be freely provided. They are hubs of human interaction and possibly the most democratic institution we have. Their only vested interest is to disseminate the things we need to make our lives civilised and each and every one of us has the right to enter and share the treasures that exist there. We have a highly skilled professional workforce who can guide, support and enrich our explorations. It’s insulting to suggest that all this could be replaced by volunteers proffering dog-eared paperbacks to the punters in the pub. This is not the stuff of a Big Society.

Me with my team of advocates for Lifegame at the Bolton Book Award

This summer I had the privilege of going to the Bolton Children’s Book Award, for which my novel Lifegame had been shortlisted. The event is a collaboration between Bolton school libraries and the University, which itself has a creative writing degree. Local sponsors get involved and the Mayor throws open the Town Hall to hundreds of children and their parents, who come to hear groups of pupils put forward their views on the shortlisted books and say which one they want to win. The excitement was palpable, the eloquence impressive and the joy of discovery that buzzed around the ballroom was truly uplifting. Yes, a wonderful party such as this could have been organised by volunteers. But the point is that underpinning the children’s evident passion for books and reading was the knowledgeable, professional guidance and support of librarians. If we lose all this we shall become a very Small Society indeed.

Our fellow children’s author Alan Gibbons is running a Campaign for the Book and is an eloquent and passionate defender of libraries. You can sign his Charter and read his blog on alangibbons.net

Elizabeth Hawksley: Treasure Trail

November 21, 2010

Have you even wanted to get inside the Bank of England, Lloyds of London or go back stage at the National Theatre? Once a year, on the third weekend in September, London Open House weekend allows you to do just that when a huge number of public buildings – and some private ones – open their doors to the public.

RSA

This year, I found myself at the RSA: Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures & Commerce in 8 John Adam St, which was built by the Adam brothers in 1774. The RSA was founded in 1754 as an Enlightenment response to the industrial revolution, and it became a force for social progress. Unusually for the period, men and women were admitted on equal terms from the beginning.When I went in I was offered a Treasure Trail quiz to do. Of course, it was really aimed at children but I like quizzes; they make me look closely at things. So, as I went round, I peered at cornices and ceiling roundels and did my best to answer the questions – some of which entailed looking very closely indeed for things which were sometimes hard to find. I handed in my quiz at the end and forgot all about it.

Adelphi ceiling

The RSA comprises 2,4,6 and 8 John Adam St, together with 18 Adam St, originally the Adelphi Tavern and later the Adelphi Hotel. In Dickens’ Pickwick Papers, Emily Wardle fled from her angry father and met her lover Mr Snodgrass there. I like to think of them admiring the ravishing Adam ceiling with its delicate plasterwork and painted panel showing Pan celebrating the feast of Bacchus.Numbers 2 and 4 were originally private houses, and very pretty they would have been, too, with their classical Adam dimensions, elegant staircases and carved Adam fireplaces. No 4 still has its wonderful painted Adam ceiling.

Vaults

Last week, out of the blue, I got a letter from the RSA. It read: Congratulations! You have won the RSA Treasure Trail Competition. Enclosed was a jigsaw of an eighteenth century print of the Great Room and a cartoon book about Benjamin Franklin, an early member. I was tickled pink.Pictures courtesy of the RSA. www.theRSA.org

Sammy Goes Flying (Again!) Odette Elliott

November 17, 2010

In 2009 I had the rights of my four “Sammy” picture books reverted to myself.

Sammy Goes Flying” was first published in 1990 by Andre Deutsch  then by Picture Puffin in 1991. It was also broadcast on Playbus by the BBC and transmitted in many other countries.  In 2010 I received a contract from Tamarind Books to publish it in a new version, with a different illustrator.

The text was to be pared down.  I enjoyed that process, with ‘give and take’ by the editor and myself.  It took many exchanges of emails before we finally agreed on the words.  I think the end result is better than the original.

I spent a long time wondering what “my” Sammy would look like in the new version.  It was almost like sending one of my children to an unknown person to dress them up in clothes I would never have thought of.  But it was even more drastic, as the face would be different!

I shall never forget the day I received the pencil roughs.  I liked them.  I then had to wait and see what colours Georgina McIntyre, the artist, would use.  Fortunately, once again I was happy.

The next test will be whether young readers will again enjoy the story.  The book is due to appear April 2011.  I am hoping that the new “Sammy” will emerge with flying colours.

Hoorah. I made it!

November 17, 2010

Hello everybody, just to let you know that I have made my way onto the blog post website. I hope to post something a little bit more scintillating next time.

Rita

Lorna Hoey: The last bus to Belfast

November 13, 2010

Lorna Hoey: The last bus to Belfast

 

Many years ago, when my brothers and I were small children, something strange happened one dark winter evening. Our home in those days was a big old house that stood alone on a narrow path near a country road. There was nothing around it but fields and woods and at night the darkness was pitch-black, with only the occasional peep of light from a faraway hilltop farm. For some reason that night I couldn’t sleep, and I lay listening to the wind whine and moan in the telegraph wires.

I needed a drink of water. Steeling myself to place my bare feet on the icy lino, I slipped out of bed, wrapped an old coat around me and hurried downstairs. My mother was complaining to herself as she clattered around in the kitchen at the end of the passage. I heard something about the deep snow in the yard, and I knew she had just come in from checking on the hens in the hen-house.

I slipped past the sitting-room door, careful not to disturb my father as he dozed lightly in front of the blazing fire, his sock-soles stretched out to the warmth. In a corner the radio played softly. Soon my mother would bring in a tray of tea and toast and they would settle down to listen to the nine o’clock news.

All at once there was a heavy knock on the front door. And another. I dived back into the sitting-room, where my father was now fully awake. An unexpected visitor after half-seven on a winter night was unheard of.

‘Daddy! There’s somebody at the door!’

The knocking came again: three sharp, urgent, loud bangs.

‘Will I open it?’ My father was talking to himself more than to me. ‘Ah, maybe it’s only somebody wanting directions. You, stay here,’ and he fumbled for his slippers and shuffled out to answer the knock. I pressed my ear to the sitting-room door, but I heard only a few mumbled words before there was the clunk of the heavy outer door closing, and my father came back in to the fire. At the same moment my mother entered with the tray of tea and toast.

‘A man,’ he said, ‘asking the time of the next bus to Belfast.’

‘What? Who?’

‘The man at the door.’

‘Was there somebody at the door? I never heard a knock,’ she said.

‘You never heard it? Sure, how could you not hear that racket?’

‘I never heard a thing,’ she said, putting down the tray. ‘Well, he was lucky anyway. Only two buses a day here and the next one’s due just after nine o’clock…’she glanced at her watch ‘…in twenty minutes, in fact.’

My father nodded. ‘I told the man he’d need to hurry, as it’ll take him at least ten minutes to get up the hill to the bus-stop, with all this snow on the ground.’ And he sat down in front of the fire.

Almost immediately he sat up again. ‘He had an accent I couldn’t place,’ he said. ‘And, now I come to think of it, odd clothes. Not a coat exactly, more a kind of cloak. Long, down to the ground. It was dragging in the snow as he turned away. That’s another thing; he seemed to be shielding his face. He had a black hat, with a wide brim. All in black, he was.’

‘He wouldn’t be going to a funeral at this hour surely?’ My mother began pouring tea.

‘I hope he makes it to the bus,’ my father said, worried. ‘I wouldn’t want him to miss it on a freezing night like this. At least it hasn’t snowed since six.’

‘You gave him clear directions?’ My father nodded. ‘You’re sure you told him to turn left at the end of the path?’

‘I did. I’m sure I did. But…’ My father stood up, biting his lip anxiously. ‘A stranger might miss the bus-stop in the dark. Maybe I’ll just go up the road after him and check he gets the bus. It’s the last one after all.’

‘No,’ said my mother. ‘Don’t go. It’s too cold out there.’

‘And what if the driver doesn’t see him, and goes past?’  He went out to the hall and quickly pulled on his wellingtons and thick coat. My mother and I hurried after him.

‘Don’t go,’ she pleaded. ‘Please. Don’t go out. You’ll catch your death in that cold.’

‘Take a light, daddy,’ I said. ‘Take the hurricane-lamp.’ But my father had thrust his old torch into his coat pocket, and he closed the door behind him.

My mother stood for a moment, teapot poised, and then she spied me standing by the radio.

‘What are you doing down here?’ she said, ‘Bed, this minute. If I see you down here again, you’re for it.’

I hurried back to the bedroom, the glass of water forgotten. I wrapped myself in my bed-cover and made my way to the top step of the stairs. I couldn’t wait to find out more about the man in the cloak who hid his face. It seemed like an eternity before my father came back, but the minute he stepped into the hall my mother was by his side.

‘Well?’

I leaned over the banister to listen.

He had walked, he said, out of the house, down the path to the gate, and turned left up the hill towards the bus-stop. He could walk fast as he knew the road, and the torch had helped. He was sure he’d overtake the man at any moment. At every third or fourth step he shouted out ‘Hello!’ but there was no answering call.

The bus-stop was deserted. A sudden moan startled him, and he swung the torch about, but then realised it was only the wind in the old beech-tree that bore the sign ‘Bus Stop’. He walked back to our gate, up the road the other way, then back to the bus-stop again, stamping his feet in the freezing cold.

At length the brightly-lit bus heaved into sight, grinding its way up the hill. Seeing my father at the stop, it clanked to a halt. My father urgently asked the driver if he’d seen a man on the road wearing a long cloak, but the driver only laughed and shook his head.

He was sure now that the man had missed his way, or had fallen and was lying in a snowy ditch somewhere. Trudging carefully home, he checked the hedges on either side of the road. Here and there a dark shape loomed up at him; but it was always nothing but a shadow. Once he heard the unmistakable sound of breathing, a gentle huff-huff. He hurried forward, sure he’d found the man, but it was three sheep, sheltering under the hawthorns.

At the bottom of the road the torch battery died, and at that moment a curious feeling came over him. He began to think there was someone behind him. He swung round but there was no-one there. He was sure he heard the sound of someone shuffling through the snow. He shouted ‘Hello!’ but there was no reply. He began to hurry towards the gate. Now it seemed that someone was walking beside him. ‘Are you there?’ he shouted, but his words only echoed up the empty road.

In the darkness he nearly missed the gate, no doubt cursing the heavy shutters on our windows that allowed no light to escape. Once on the path the faint yellow glimmer of the porch light welcomed him back, and he relaxed. Sure, the dark played tricks with the imagination. Then, as he stood on the steps knocking the snow off his boots and looking back down the path towards the road, he noticed something strange.

‘What was it?’ whispered my mother.

There was only one set of footprints, his own distinctive wellington-boot treads. He checked carefully. His own, down the path. His own, back again.

My parents stood in the hall, looking at each other. Then,

‘At least you’re back safely,’ said my mother. ‘Come in to the fire. You look frozen.’

‘Yes,’ my father sighed. ‘My feet are numb,’ and when he had pulled off his boots they went into the sitting-room. I had to hear more, so I hopped down the stairs and followed them in.

‘I need a drink of water,’ I said. My mother looked at me and sighed.

And then came a knock at the door, followed by another.

‘It’s him!’ my father cried, relief in his voice. ‘He’s back. I knew he’d got lost.’ My mother leapt across the room and grasped his arm.

‘Don’t answer it.’

The knocks came again: three loud knocks, bang, bang, bang.

‘Why the heck not?’ He shook off her hand but –

‘Michael!’ she said, grabbing him by his elbows and pulling him away from the door. ‘Think! One set of footprints?’

He glared at her, incredulous, and then I saw the first flicker of fear in his eyes. He sat down abruptly, and I noticed that his hands were shaking.

I turned and ran upstairs to the landing window which overlooked our front path. I undid the heavy brass clasp and wrenched aside the tall, stiff shutter. As it swung back, a sudden terror shook me, and I screwed up my eyes tight shut. I couldn’t look. I leaned towards the cold glass, counted to three and opened my eyes. The faint glow of the porch light shone on the front steps, the path and right down to the gate. There was nobody there.

Copyright Lorna E. Hoey November 2010

 

 

 

Killing off a character Marion Rose

November 10, 2010

 


This week I’m in mourning – for a character I’ve come to know, and absolutely love. No, it’s not Jack Duckworth from Coronation Street, though I gather millions are missing him like one of their family. My grief is for a character in the children’s novel I’m reading. A loveable voice that is still in my head – funny, loyal and utterly real.

But as well as sadness I’m feeling a little bit angry. Did this death really have to happen? Is it justified? It’s making me ask what DOES make a ‘good’ death in fiction? There are some deaths I can think of that are completely heart-rending yet also absolutely right for the storyline. Charlotte in ‘Charlotte’s web’ for one. Private Peaceful is another.

In both those cases, the character dies to give life to others. And that is also true of this character. And yet for me, this death does not satisfy. For one thing, it’s left me thinking less of the characters who do survive. But much, much worse, the world of the novel left behind is so much duller, in fact positively impoverished, with this character no longer there. (Writer beware!)

I haven’t mentioned the character’s name in case you have not yet read  “The Knife of Never Letting go” by Patrick Ness, the first of a trilogy. This first book tells the story of a boy’s flight from everything he knows. It’s set in a strange and highly original world where men’s thoughts cannot be kept private but are out there as Noise. In all other respects I thought this novel exceptional – brave and fresh and very compelling.  Read it, if you haven’t already. My hope is, that the next two novels may cast a redeeming light on this (for me) too-early death.

Meanwhile, I’d be interested to know if anyone else has strong feelings about the killing of a character – be it your own, or someone else’s?